Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
