I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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