thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
