The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
