Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
