i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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