at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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