That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
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We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
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I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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