I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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