Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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