They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
