I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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