break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
