I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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