I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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