Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
