I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
