I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
