ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
