He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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