you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
How naked do you want me to be?
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