I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I deserve this hangover.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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