last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
