I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Screwed.edu
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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