she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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