so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
