Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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