What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
