standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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