so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
