she's into porn, im staying here tonight
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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