I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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