matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
