I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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