To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
