So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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