can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
