butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
