A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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