Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
