Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
