So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Im part way to drunk.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
