No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
