how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
