i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
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shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
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I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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