The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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