We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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