As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
