Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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