He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize