I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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