i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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