my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
