I didn't shave. On purpose
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
