PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
