just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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