i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
two words: eviction party
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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