i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
