Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
