Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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